Appreciation
Feeling seen – that’s touching. For me, it’s a feeling of appreciation, recognition, love, and it supports my inner strength. But it’s not just the gaze of others that counts: our benevolent view of ourselves also significantly shapes our relationships.
In my counseling, it consistently shows that couples and individuals who regularly acknowledge their own strengths and those of their partner are more satisfied, more connected, and emotionally more stable.
What does “”Positive Seeing mean? It is a central approach by Prof. Guy Bodenmann in his book “Before Stress Divides Us” and addresses precisely that:
- Recalling the beginnings of the relationship
- The loving gaze through “rose-tinted glasses”
- Consciously fostering gratitude and acceptance
(Bodenmann, 2016)
How do we strengthen our connection? From my perspective, seeing the positive and creating small moments that provide energy helps to foster closeness and connection. So, how about a:
- Walk hand in hand
- Conversation with mutual interest
- Small gift or a spontaneous hug
- Phrase: “I see you.”
In my counseling, we jointly activate resources – individually or as a couple. This creates new experiences that not only interrupt the negative spiral but also create genuine space for connection and joy.
Questions we explore together:
- How do we show each other appreciation – beyond routine?
- What strengthens our connection in everyday life?
- What is already positive – and how can we consciously use it?
Source: Bodenmann, G. (2016). Before stress divides us: Resilience in Partnership (2nd ed.). Hogrefe.